Niamh Delmar is a Chartered Registered Counselling Psychologist and provides Psychological Support Workshops to work environments. Here she outlines some ways to navigate smartphones, social media, and screens in families.
Excessive digital use among children and teens can be a major concern for many parents. Arguments, tension, guilt and confusion may be experienced when parents feel out of their depth, attempting to provide guidance in unknown territory.
Approximately 90% of children own a smartphone by age 11, and usage increases from an average of four hours daily from age eight, to six hours plus throughout adolescence.
Research shows that more time on smartphones and social media is strongly associated with lower well-being levels than watching TV and videos. Parents’ attempts to regulate use tends to result in conflict and resistance, especially as children get older and more autonomous.
Pros and Cons
It is not so much about smartphones, but what is on them and how they are used. YouTube, TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram are the most widely used platforms among the young. According to cyber safe kids, 84% of children aged eight to 12 are on social media.
There are benefits of social media, such as making connections with others, gaming with peers and enjoying a digital social life. Online connecting can deepen friendships and provide support. Common interests can be enjoyed, and there are opportunities to learn and broaden horizons.
Healthy online communities can be beneficial. Social media offers a way to communicate with friends and family that live far away. It can be a source of entertainment and provides mental health and educational resources. Owning a smartphone can foster responsibility and trust. Teenagers have cited in surveys that it provides opportunities to showcase their creativity.
Filtering out the pros and cons of smartphone, social media and internet use is challenging for parents. Studies have found that it is listed as top of parents’ concerns. It is a complex landscape to navigate, even for parents who are digital experts. Excessive use is linked with sleep difficulties and mood issues. There are growing concerns that too much time on smartphones may be associated with elevated incidents of teen depression and suicide*.
Danger Zones
According to Dr. Brian Primack, a researcher in this field, parents have cause for concern around social media and smartphones, and that more caution needs to be exerted.
From the evidence so far, a number of factors contribute to danger zones for young people: vulnerabilities of the individual, the amount of time spent online, and the type of content. Research is still unfolding to assess what changes may be arising in the person’s developing brain.
Addictive type behaviours can be induced. The 'feel good’ neurotransmitter dopamine gets released, making a person want more. Some people are very susceptible to the dopamine hits from ‘likes’ received. Others may be naive or easily influenced by others online. Adults can get addicted so younger users can even more so as they don’t have the self-regulation skills. As a result, many parents struggle with getting their kids off screen and post screen outbursts may feature.
Furthermore, it is a sedentary past time which can contribute to eye and neck strain and obesity. Activities, interests and studies may be neglected and seen as interruptions. Digital time intrudes on family life and stunts conversations. A sense of loneliness can be experienced if in-person interactions and real life experiences are not happening. On screen over stimulation can lead to poor focus and low energy levels.
The type of content consumed matters. Inappropriate and harmful material can be easily accessed out of curiosity or accidentally. Risky challenges and violent images feature. Eating disorders are associated with the plethora of physical ideals on social media. Sexual exploitation can occur, and misogyny and disinformation spread.
Some young people turn to social media for advice that may be inaccurate. There is a tendency to self-diagnose with pseudo therapy and quick fixes offered by unqualified strangers. Cyber bullying and feeling excluded can have detrimental effects on young people. Algorithms intensify disturbing or unhealthy information leading young users down dangerous rabbit holes. Children are also bombarded by clickbait and marketing strategies.
Setting Digital Boundaries
Guiding children to become healthy digital citizens is fundamental. Online safety tools and monitoring are useful, but limited. As a child gets older, the aim is to help them foster a healthy relationship with the digital world that will continue into adulthood. They need to be aware that their digital footprint is permanent and could be used as part of a job interview process.
As with driving a car, lessons have to be taken first. Prepare your child for scenarios that may arise, and foster media literacy with the same commitment you would when teaching them to read or ride a bike. Try out the social platforms, apps and games yourself first. Introduce all slowly and at a pace, monitoring their mood after use. Facilitate open communication so they can turn to you if needed. Encourage them to share any problems or issues with you or a professional, rather than people online.
Digital boundaries need to be set. Make a contract which could include tech free zones and times. Establish online rules such as no sharing of personal information or communication with strangers.
Timers can be set, as hours can seem like seconds tapping or scrolling. It can be useful for all family members to track hours online, as this can be a wake-up call. Explore what they could be doing instead with their lives, such as a having a part-time job, in person social interactions and other activities.
Digital Role Model
Role model a healthy relationship with screens and engage the family in fun activities, outings and getting outdoors. Parents, schools, children and adolescents are all navigating a new world.
While we all have a responsibility to safeguard and guide, technology companies and policymakers need to play a greater role. More global and rigorous studies are needed.
While once the tobacco industry seemed powerful, and smoking was seen as socially acceptable, research has shown us the dangerous reality.
Digital parenting is challenging. While the digital world can be entertaining and connects young people, for those who are vulnerable, excessive use and the type of content a young person engages in has negative effects.
If you have been affected by issues raised in this story, please visit: www.rte.ie/helplines.
The views expressed here are those of the author and do not represent or reflect the views of RTÉ.
